Let’s be real; when a conversation about sexiness takes place, people rarely visualize a plus size woman. If by chance a plus size woman does come to mind, she is one that gets a pass. I know some of you are thinking… a pass? Yes, there is a pass given to certain plus size women based on their shape and assets. So, while a woman who is curvy or voluptuous may be considered sexy, fat girls like me rarely are.
We should acknowledge the fact that per society, all plus size women are not created equally. Over the years, society has bestowed upon us many different titles; names like curvy, thick, chubby and voluptuous are all used to describe plus size women. While I feel that these titles are used by society to create a divide in our community; many times, plus size women absorb them in an effort to feel better about themselves and their bodies. It is as if being curvy negates the fact that they are plus size!
Let me be clear, I know all about what society thinks of fat girls like me, and honestly… I COULD CARE LESS! However, as a woman who cares about other women and who loves the truth, I want to be real about being fat and sexy (it does exist). I think that it is important to have the conversation because if we don’t, we allow ignorance to take up space in our lives and that is unhealthy.
Yes, fat and sexy is a thing; it has been proven time and time again. However, for many plus size women it is hard to tap into that sexiness due to the pictures that society uses to promote being sexy. We all have seen them; women with perfect bodies, smooth complexions and silky hair… NOT A FLAW IN SIGHT (especially not fat)! Well, I am here to tell you that is a bunch of bullcrap. Those depictions may be sexy but the truth is they are not the only pictures of a sexy woman!
For most of my adult life I struggled with loving my body. I couldn’t look in the mirror and see sexy. Like many other plus size women, I thought there was no way I could be sexy… I WAS TOO FAT! Although there have been plenty of men that stated I was sexy in their eyes, that meant nothing because I was blind to it. Why? Because just like love, sexy begins with self and until I could tap into it and believe, nothing and no one else matters.
With it being Valentine’s Day and there being an abundance of emotions in the air, I thought that this would be a great time to share a few facts about being sexy at any size.
- Your mind does matter! Many women feel that their sexiness is attached to a man (or woman) but that is furthest from the truth. Being sexy is about the confidence and energy you put into the atmosphere. That confidence and energy is what will attract others to you.
- Embrace the feeling! Never feel that you need to dumb yourself down. embrace your sexiness and if you are too hot for others, tell them to… GET THE HELL OUT OF THE KITCHEN!
- Insert your style! Being sexy is not about what you wear, it is about how you wear it! Your confidence and energy will allow you to be sexy full clothed or in your birthday suit.
I hope that this helps you to serve up a little sexy on this special day whether you are doing it for your mate or yourself.
MY STYLE JOURNAL
Off The Shoulder Dress: Lane Bryant
Red Lipstick wedge: By Jessica Simpson from Zappos
Black and White Clutch (similar): Steve Madden
Scrappy Lace Babydoll: Lane Bryant
Ladies, chime in and share a little about what being sexy means to you and how you plan to serve it up this Valentine’s Day!
*PHOTOS BY P DILLON PHOTOGRAPHY