#PHATand40: Embracing My Age And Slaying Life

Maui of PHAT GIRL FRESHBy now, you all know that I turned 40 on July 14th. However, what you don’t know is that for years, I feared turning 40. Thinking about It now, I don’t know what in the hell I thought was going to happen; the only way to avoid turning 40 was to die and I am not about that life!

Years ago, my (favorite) auntie Carolynn told me that if I hadn’t achieved what I wanted to achieve by 40, chances are, I wouldn’t. So, for most of my life, I worked and lived with that in mind. There were so many goals that I had to achieve and so many things that I was supposed accomplish to solidify my place in womanhood; God forbid I didn’t beat the clock. So, with each birthday, my anxiety increased because although I was working hard and living my dreams, I was not where I wanted to be or where society said I needed to be as woman.


Now I know that all my ladies can relate to what I am saying in some manner because society has so many standards set for us. Not being in compliance with society’s standards for women, provokes major side eyes and shade because, who are we to go against the grain and do what makes us happy. The truth is, there is no one way to be a woman; we dream different, we live different and are beliefs are different. The notion that we have to fit into some box is total ignorance.

Not every woman is looking for Prince Charming, some are looking for a princess and some are too busy living and pursuing their dreams to devote time and energy to someone else. Being a mother is another one of society’s standards that not every woman is here for. Yeah, kids are a blessing but some women don’t want to be blessed in that area. I guess we are lucky that society dismissed the idea that women were only good for being barefoot and pregnant, too bad they replaced it with motherhood defining us.

Although it took years for me to understand that I don’t have to live according to anyone’s standards but my own, I got it! Once I grasped that, I was able to understand that each year of my life was a new chapter in the book of Maui and as the author, I had total creative control. This helped me to get excited about maturing as a woman and even reaching 40.

So yeah, instead of being sad about turning 40 years old, I celebrated the fact that I had lived 40 great years. No, it hasn’t been perfect but it was damn sure worth! So, I took a page from the book of 50 Cent and partied like it was my birthday because it was! Check out a few of the photos that I can show you below!

And you know I had to break a rule or two in the process! Why? Because mature women always do what we want! No, I didn’t tone my attire down because of my age; I dressed just how I felt, sexy, bold and fly as fuck. The deets of my entire look (from head to toe) are listed below.


Ombre’ Brazilian Hair: Diamond Bundles Hair Imports

Custom Unit: Agape Custom Wigs

Tribal Print Swim/Body Suit With sheer skater: Christian O Meshun

Black Suede Wedge: Torrid


Those fears… I replaced them with faith! No, I haven’t reached all my goals but I am working hard and I know that the book doesn’t end until I stop writing…And ya’ll know I love to write!


I shared this because I want women of all ages to understand that nothing and no one has the power to restrict you but you. So what if your aren’t where society feels you should be! As a woman, your job is to be true to yourself, purse your dreams with your whole heart and understand that if it is for you, it will happen in Gods time.



  1. Juliette
    July 25, 2017 / 10:58 pm

    Preach it Sista! I ‘m much older than you and really didn’t get this until the past 10 years to kudos to you for getting NOW! Rejoice in the magnificent woman you are and stay fly af! Happy Birthday to ya (in my India. Arie voice, LOL!)

    • July 26, 2017 / 12:02 pm

      Thanks for the encouragement!

  2. April
    July 27, 2017 / 3:42 pm

    Thanks for sharing this! I love your positive outlook and I must say I enjoyed the photos and you looked absolutely stunning

    Wishing you much continued success